Okay, so my Doctor told me to get a personal trainer. He said I was losing muscle strength, and training would help alleviate my pain and aid in mobility.
In other words, I might be able to move without looking and sounding like my dead, great-grandmother! I sat on the table, contemplating kicking him in the shin, as soon as I garnered the strength, when he handed me a physician’s order for physical therapy, and exited the room. Guess he could tell I wasn’t pleased with his assessment.
Did I look that terrible? Seriously? Whatever, I decided to play his game, maybe it would help. As I put my clothes back on, I checked myself out in the mirror and warmed to the idea. I pictured myself in sleek black, workout clothes, fit and trim. Perhaps I could get in shape, redefine my muscles, and become a new, sexy, late middle-age woman! Hell, anything was possible. I pumped myself. I could do this and by Christmas, I’d sashay across the room, instead of amble with a limp.
With the doctor’s order in hand, I promptly hired a personal trainer and, n-o-o not just any old trainer. Nope, I hired an ex-military, bronze star, triathlete to whip me into shape. And, his favorite saying? “Suck it up bluebell.” Want to guess who bluebell is?
In the first few days of training, I discovered the following truths.
- You CAN walk 3 miles, short of breath and not lose consciousness.
- Balancing on all fours atop a gigantic blue rubber ball is not for the faint of heart, and almost impossible to do.
- There are more ways to do sit-ups than you imagined, and I got to do them all!
- A peak heart rate of 160 bpm is okay! You truly aren’t dying of a heart attack!
- That gasping whale sound you hear is coming from you – it will get better.
- The tomato-red color your face turns during workouts does fade to normal; it just takes a few hours.
- And last but not least, personal trainers send you home with a written plan, for your days off, and spy on you to make sure you’re following through. Did I mention he was ex-military?
I survived my first couple of days, barely. And, I’m so excited, up next on the training agenda – kayaking! Does it matter to him if I’m not a strong swimmer, afraid of rolling over in the kayak and drowning, or can’t bear 37 degrees outside? Nope!
I hear him loud and clear. “Suck it up bluebell.”