Suck it Up Bluebell

Okay, so my Doctor told me to get a personal trainer. He said I was losing muscle strength, and training would help alleviate my pain and aid in mobility.

In other words, I might be able to move without looking and sounding like my dead, great-grandmother! I sat on the table, contemplating kicking him in the shin, as soon as I  garnered the strength, when he handed me  a physician’s order for physical therapy, and exited the room. Guess he could tell I wasn’t pleased with his assessment.

Did I look that terrible? Seriously?  Whatever, I decided to play his game,  maybe it would help. As I put my clothes back on, I checked myself out in the mirror and warmed to the idea. I pictured myself in sleek black, workout clothes, fit and trim. Perhaps  I could get in shape, redefine my muscles, and become a new, sexy, late middle-age woman! Hell, anything was possible. I pumped myself. I could do this and by Christmas, I’d  sashay across the room, instead of amble with a limp.

With the doctor’s order in hand, I promptly hired a personal trainer and, n-o-o not just any old trainer. Nope, I hired an ex-military, bronze star, triathlete to whip me into shape. And, his favorite saying?  “Suck it up bluebell.” Want to guess who bluebell is?

In the first few days of training, I discovered the following truths.

  1. You CAN walk 3 miles, short of breath and not lose consciousness.
  2. Balancing on all fours atop a gigantic blue rubber ball is not for the faint of heart, and  almost impossible to do.
  3. There are more ways to do sit-ups than you imagined, and I got to do them all!
  4. A peak heart rate of 160 bpm is okay! You truly aren’t dying of  a heart attack!
  5. That gasping whale sound you hear is coming from you – it will get better.
  6. The  tomato-red color  your face turns during workouts does fade to normal; it just takes a few hours.
  7. And last but not least, personal trainers send you home with a written plan, for your  days off,  and spy on you to make sure you’re following through. Did I mention he was ex-military?

I survived my first couple of days, barely. And, I’m so excited, up next on the  training agenda – kayaking! Does it matter to him if I’m not a strong swimmer, afraid of rolling over in the kayak and drowning, or  can’t bear 37 degrees outside? Nope!

I hear him loud and clear.  “Suck it up bluebell.”