Suck it Up Bluebell

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / Leave a comment

Okay, so my Doctor told me to get a personal trainer. He said I was losing muscle strength, and training would help alleviate my pain and aid in mobility.

In other words, I might be able to move without looking and sounding like my dead, great-grandmother! I sat on the table, contemplating kicking him in the shin, as soon as I  garnered the strength, when he handed me  a physician’s order for physical therapy, and exited the room. Guess he could tell I wasn’t pleased with his assessment.

Did I look that terrible? Seriously?  Whatever, I decided to play his game,  maybe it would help. As I put my clothes back on, I checked myself out in the mirror and warmed to the idea. I pictured myself in sleek black, workout clothes, fit and trim. Perhaps  I could get in shape, redefine my muscles, and become a new, sexy, late middle-age woman! Hell, anything was possible. I pumped myself. I could do this and by Christmas, I’d  sashay across the room, instead of amble with a limp.

With the doctor’s order in hand, I promptly hired a personal trainer and, n-o-o not just any old trainer. Nope, I hired an ex-military, bronze star, triathlete to whip me into shape. And, his favorite saying?  “Suck it up bluebell.” Want to guess who bluebell is?

In the first few days of training, I discovered the following truths.

  1. You CAN walk 3 miles, short of breath and not lose consciousness.
  2. Balancing on all fours atop a gigantic blue rubber ball is not for the faint of heart, and  almost impossible to do.
  3. There are more ways to do sit-ups than you imagined, and I got to do them all!
  4. A peak heart rate of 160 bpm is okay! You truly aren’t dying of  a heart attack!
  5. That gasping whale sound you hear is coming from you – it will get better.
  6. The  tomato-red color  your face turns during workouts does fade to normal; it just takes a few hours.
  7. And last but not least, personal trainers send you home with a written plan, for your  days off,  and spy on you to make sure you’re following through. Did I mention he was ex-military?

I survived my first couple of days, barely. And, I’m so excited, up next on the  training agenda – kayaking! Does it matter to him if I’m not a strong swimmer, afraid of rolling over in the kayak and drowning, or  can’t bear 37 degrees outside? Nope!

I hear him loud and clear.  “Suck it up bluebell.”

According to The Experts …

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 2 Comments

Okay, So I learned today that either I suck at saying “I’m sorry” or the experts are crazy as Hell.

According to all the so called “experts,” a sincere apology should include five things.

1) A brief description of what happened ( the event).
2) Your role and how you acted ( Did you roll eyes? Use sarcasm? Have the nerve to disagree?)
3) Acknowledge your role in the event (take responsibility).
4) Tell what you wish you had done instead (???)
5) Ask for forgiveness, and promise it won’t happen again! (Probably not happening).

And the world will be a better place, the birds will sing, and the sun will shine! Not exactly!

See, apparently, so I learned today, the 1st step of describing the event can be interpreted as rehashing, describing what happened or justification. Funny thing about recollections; apparently, we weren’t even in the same room much less same place!  In fact, things went from bad to worse and even more animated as I found myself saying “I did not!”.

After 30 minutes attempting to apologize, our battle ended with this exchange.

“Forget it, I’m trying to apologize, and you won’t let me.”

“You’re not trying to apologize, you’ve spent the last half hour trying to convince me that you were right.”

From where I’m standing, I’d say the experts are crazy as Hell.

I Hate Texting

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 2 Comments

I hate texting.

Our society is going to Hell in a hand basket because we are losing the ability to communicate. Apparently, this generation finds typing on a tiny keyboard, while doing any and everything, easier than actually talking to another person. Emotive’s and acronyms attempt to replace the tone of one’s voice, the expression on your face or excitement of the moment.  You almost need a texting dictionary on hand to understand the language! And then people wonder why their text was misunderstood or why they’re so easily ignored. Forget someone, especially your children actually picking up the phone when you call, anymore! Oh, no, you leave a message and later, you get a text. “You called”?

Emotive’s and acronyms attempt to replace the tone of one’s voice, the expression on your face or excitement of the moment.  You almost need a texting dictionary on hand to understand the language! And then people wonder why their text was misunderstood or why they’re so easily ignored. Forget someone, especially your children actually picking up the phone when you call, anymore! Oh, no, you leave a message and later, you get a text. “You called”?

Men have forgotten how to be men;  instead, believing texting a young woman, and asking her to hang out is the same as calling a few days in advance asking for the privilege of taking her out on a date.  Young women accept that behavior because they, also, have forgotten how to converse across the dinner table.

It is easy to disregard, ignore and delete people from your life with texting. A few short answers, a quip, a few acronyms, a few push of the buttons and you’re done. You don’t have to deal with anything you don’t want to deal with, see people you don’t want to see, even your favorite TV shows aren’t interrupted, all with no effort.

Picking up the phone or sitting down across the table requires effort,  a connection, respect for others and manners. Talking requires you listen, look people in the eye, feel the tension, excitement, love,  fireworks, cold or warmth flowing between two people.

To think our society would rather engage in conversation in this manner rather than hearing the sound of our voices, whether it is laughter, anger, or tears and know we aren’t alone in this world, makes me sad. Seriously?   People!

FTLOG!

Pick up the damn phone and have a real conversation for a change.

Southern Side Walk Rage

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 1 Comment

I thought it was just me, having an occasional bad day. Or, always having too much on the schedule. However, I learned today, that nope, I have a problem.

According to researchers and the Wall Street Journal, the following behaviors are all classic signs of a “Sidewalk Rager.” Muttering (yeah), bumping into others on purpose to get them going (umm, maybe), or making a mean face at a person(s) when they don’t move along as fast as you would like (so?)

Well, the nerve! The researchers forgot to include in their study these helpful tactics. Saying loudly, “Seriously people,” as you move roughly around the slow pokes (I’m mean really!). Or, sighing loud enough you might be mistaken for a deflating hot air balloon (check & check).

I don’t know where in the hell those people are going or what they’re doing, but whatever it is, it won’t get done today! At the rate, some of them move, maybe never reach their destination.

Speaking of hot air, the researchers conclude if, I, we, you feel the need to tell others how fast they should be walking … well, we might have a problem. SERIOUSLY?! I don’t think so, and they’re 19,009 + Facebook members who beg to differ!

Apparently, I’m a Sidewalk Rager. Can’t help myself; I have places to go and people to see. So, Knock yourselves out Balloon heads, the rest of you are welcome to join my group as a member of the, “I Secretly Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Back of the Head.”​