Writing

Okay, So I learned today that either I suck at saying “I’m sorry” or the experts are crazy as Hell.

According to all the so called “experts,” a sincere apology should include five things.

1) A brief description of what happened ( the event).
2) Your role and how you acted ( Did you roll eyes? Use sarcasm? Have the nerve to disagree?)
3) Acknowledge your role in the event (take responsibility).
4) Tell what you wish you had done instead (???)
5) Ask for forgiveness, and promise it won’t happen again! (Probably not happening).

And the world will be a better place, the birds will sing, and the sun will shine! Not exactly!

See, apparently, so I learned today, the 1st step of describing the event can be interpreted as rehashing, describing what happened or justification. Funny thing about recollections; apparently, we weren’t even in the same room much less same place! In fact, things went from bad to worse and even more animated as I found myself saying “I did not!”.

After 30 minutes attempting to apologize, our battle ended with this exchange.

“Forget it, I’m trying to apologize, and you won’t let me.”

“You’re not trying to apologize, you’ve spent the last half hour trying to convince me that you were right.”

From where I’m standing, I’d say the experts are crazy as Hell.

I thought it was just me, having an occasional bad day. Or, always having too much on the schedule. However, I learned today, that nope, I have a problem.

According to researchers and the Wall Street Journal, the following behaviors are all classic signs of a “Sidewalk Rager.” Muttering (yeah), bumping into others on purpose to get them going (umm, maybe), or making a mean face at a person(s) when they don’t move along as fast as you would like (so?)

Well, the nerve! The researchers forgot to include in their study these helpful tactics. Saying loudly, “Seriously people,” as you move roughly around the slow pokes (I’m mean really!). Or, sighing loud enough you might be mistaken for a deflating hot air balloon (check & check).

I don’t know where in the hell those people are going or what they’re doing, but whatever it is, it won’t get done today! At the rate, some of them move, maybe never reach their destination.

Speaking of hot air, the researchers conclude if, I, we, you feel the need to tell others how fast they should be walking … well, we might have a problem. SERIOUSLY?! I don’t think so, and they’re 19,009 + Facebook members who beg to differ!

Apparently, I’m a Sidewalk Rager. Can’t help myself; I have places to go and people to see. So, Knock yourselves out Balloon heads, the rest of you are welcome to join my group as a member of the, “I Secretly Want to Punch Slow Walking People in the Back of the Head.”