Writing tips

Here’s The Thing …

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / Leave a comment

Social networks have gone amok, losing the purpose for which created. Originally meant to be a way to connect and re-connect, they have morphed into an avenue for anything but.

Anyone with a computer or smart phone can now access any or all of the latest social networking sites. Companies have staff members dedicated to nothing other than monitoring and contributing to Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn, etc.

What began as a social networking among friends, has become a way for businesses and individuals to pedal their latest wares, potential employers to check out applicants, and people to spout off, believing it’s a safer place to do so.

Diatribes generally withheld in public because someone would challenge them or hold them accountable are posted, with a satisfied smirk, I’m sure.

We know more intimate facts about “friends” than we would have ever known before social networking. We see them in pictures and posts in ways we wished we hadn’t, making you wonder if you ever knew them at all.

And, Here’s the Thing…..

We don’t connect or re-connect, we pull away. We pull away because what you do, what you say, what you post, makes a difference.

Words matter. They matter to your real-life friends, your family, your children to whom you are supposed to be an example, your co-workers, your employer, potential customers, and society at large. Like it or not, society has its rules and those who chose to ignore the fact, do pay the price.

Our friends, real or imagined are a reflection of each one of us, our values,  and what we hold dear. When we are bombarded with senseless, thoughtless, obnoxious or offensive postings, we’re forced to make a decision, and we choose NOT to connect.

We pull away, unsubscribe, “unfriend” or hit the delete button.

Suck it Up Bluebell

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / Leave a comment

Okay, so my Doctor told me to get a personal trainer. He said I was losing muscle strength, and training would help alleviate my pain and aid in mobility.

In other words, I might be able to move without looking and sounding like my dead, great-grandmother! I sat on the table, contemplating kicking him in the shin, as soon as I  garnered the strength, when he handed me  a physician’s order for physical therapy, and exited the room. Guess he could tell I wasn’t pleased with his assessment.

Did I look that terrible? Seriously?  Whatever, I decided to play his game,  maybe it would help. As I put my clothes back on, I checked myself out in the mirror and warmed to the idea. I pictured myself in sleek black, workout clothes, fit and trim. Perhaps  I could get in shape, redefine my muscles, and become a new, sexy, late middle-age woman! Hell, anything was possible. I pumped myself. I could do this and by Christmas, I’d  sashay across the room, instead of amble with a limp.

With the doctor’s order in hand, I promptly hired a personal trainer and, n-o-o not just any old trainer. Nope, I hired an ex-military, bronze star, triathlete to whip me into shape. And, his favorite saying?  “Suck it up bluebell.” Want to guess who bluebell is?

In the first few days of training, I discovered the following truths.

  1. You CAN walk 3 miles, short of breath and not lose consciousness.
  2. Balancing on all fours atop a gigantic blue rubber ball is not for the faint of heart, and  almost impossible to do.
  3. There are more ways to do sit-ups than you imagined, and I got to do them all!
  4. A peak heart rate of 160 bpm is okay! You truly aren’t dying of  a heart attack!
  5. That gasping whale sound you hear is coming from you – it will get better.
  6. The  tomato-red color  your face turns during workouts does fade to normal; it just takes a few hours.
  7. And last but not least, personal trainers send you home with a written plan, for your  days off,  and spy on you to make sure you’re following through. Did I mention he was ex-military?

I survived my first couple of days, barely. And, I’m so excited, up next on the  training agenda – kayaking! Does it matter to him if I’m not a strong swimmer, afraid of rolling over in the kayak and drowning, or  can’t bear 37 degrees outside? Nope!

I hear him loud and clear.  “Suck it up bluebell.”

According to The Experts …

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 2 Comments

Okay, So I learned today that either I suck at saying “I’m sorry” or the experts are crazy as Hell.

According to all the so called “experts,” a sincere apology should include five things.

1) A brief description of what happened ( the event).
2) Your role and how you acted ( Did you roll eyes? Use sarcasm? Have the nerve to disagree?)
3) Acknowledge your role in the event (take responsibility).
4) Tell what you wish you had done instead (???)
5) Ask for forgiveness, and promise it won’t happen again! (Probably not happening).

And the world will be a better place, the birds will sing, and the sun will shine! Not exactly!

See, apparently, so I learned today, the 1st step of describing the event can be interpreted as rehashing, describing what happened or justification. Funny thing about recollections; apparently, we weren’t even in the same room much less same place!  In fact, things went from bad to worse and even more animated as I found myself saying “I did not!”.

After 30 minutes attempting to apologize, our battle ended with this exchange.

“Forget it, I’m trying to apologize, and you won’t let me.”

“You’re not trying to apologize, you’ve spent the last half hour trying to convince me that you were right.”

From where I’m standing, I’d say the experts are crazy as Hell.