Uh oh, Grandma’s in Trouble

The Daily Post Prompt: Thorny

As you may have read, I recently took a trip to Washington D.C. I typically visit D.C. twice a year to see my youngest daughter who has been there almost six years. This time, however, it was a treat to take my oldest daughter and my two lovely granddaughters with me. It was the first time flying for the young ones, and I was interested in how they might react to the security checkpoint. Their mother and I gave them a brief summary of what to expect, and we got in line.

I have a pacemaker. I can walk through the x-ray machine but must avoid the wan. As a result, I frequently get the pleasure of the pat-down; which I have no problem submitting to. I’m not one of those who scream civil rights or whimper about being ‘touched.’  So, pat away. They want me to strip? No problem. I’m past the age of being offended. All I’m interested in is getting on the plane, having an uneventful and safe flight and arriving at my destination in one piece.

Everything was going smoothly until the officer swabbed my hands. My daughter and granddaughters went through without a hitch. They were grabbing their things off of the conveyor when an alarm sounded. A woman next to my daughter said, “Uh oh, Grandma’s in trouble.”

To which my daughter replied, “Nah, she has a pacemaker; she’s fine.”

“Nope, that was not her pacemaker. She set off an alarm.”

Talking about a thorny situation … I was watching my granddaughters, not paying much attention to the officer swiping my hands. Then the alarm sounded, and I glanced at the monitor. “Stay here,” the officer said, calling to another officer. Puzzled I looked at the monitor and my eyes widened; it was flashing in big letters – TNT!

I wasn’t paying much attention to the officer swiping my hands, but then the alarm sounded.  “Stay here,” the officer said. She called to another officer and he started our way. Puzzled I looked at the monitor and my eyes widened; it was flashing in big letters – TNT!

“Holy s*@&! What the hell had I touched?” TNT?? Seriously? 

Yep, that’s yours truly at the beginning of my second and more thorough pat-down. I thought my flippant remark about stripping was about come to fruition – that or a cavity search.  Lucky for me, it didn’t get that thorny!

I was eventually cleared and allowed to board the plane, but I was certain, somewhere, some dude was typing my name onto a  watch list.

The girls had a good laugh at Nana’s expense, of course, and we had a blast in D.C. Oops! I mean fun! FUN. If anyone’s listening out there  – I meant FUN!

Maybe, my daughter should come home more often. It’s getting hard to take me anywhere.

Here’s a travel tip:  hand lotions with glycerine will test positive for explosives! Who knew!



I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Join the conversation. Talk to me or tell me your story. I’m all ears.