Magic Bullet Smoothie

January 4, 2015October 21, 2016 / Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 8 Comments

Five Sentence Fiction – What it’s all about: Five Sentence Fiction is about packing a powerful punch in a tiny fist. Each week I will post a one word inspiration, then anyone wishing to participate will write a five sentence story based on the prompt word.

This week’s word: FRESH

Kara thrust the cup out to her husband, “Come on honey, it’s a smoothie with all your favorite fresh fruits; just one taste.

He stepped back, waving the cup away. “Fruit my ass; I saw that pile of green stuff in the bottom and that slime ain’t crossing these lips,” he said, clamping his mouth closed like a two-year-old refusing medicine.

“I promise it tastes better than it looks and Doc Griffin’s gonna be thrilled when your cholesterol falls outta the heart attack range.”

“I might need a magic bullet,” he’s said through clenched lips, “but that ain’t it; I’ll take my chances.”

I Bit the Apple

December 5, 2014March 12, 2018 / Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 4 Comments

Samantha Paige Images

I feel a little like Eve. I bit the Apple, tasted the forbidden fruit. Yep, my eyes opened, and I threw the inferior Windows out, well the window. Unfortunately, once you’ve taken a bite, there’s no turning back. Now, I’m ruined and so is, unfortunately, my Apple.

Seems one can screw up an Apple in a heartbeat while reading recipes, cooking, and imbibing in a taste or two, of wine. Apparently, Apples detest getting wet, even a tiny splatter. In fact, they throw a fit, opening the very application you never knew you had and will even attempt to send emails on your behalf. Unruly is an understatement. I lost all control.

After a trip to the Apple doctor, I was given good news and bad news. The bad, my Apple had succumbed. “The sauce did it,” the cute little technician said. I didn’t ask which sauce. My mind was already taking a pantry inventory, God let there be wine. He continued, “The good news is we can bring it back to life.”

I swallowed. “How much?”

“We’ll send it off, and a week to ten days, it will be like new. Only $800.00,” he said, smiling.

I blanched then my eye caught the gleam of the table to my left. Bright, new shiny Apples flashed on display, and I swear I heard a whisper, “Wanna bite?”

I’d love to hear your comments. Talk to me. Tell me your story. I’m all ears and look for me on Facebook at SheilaMGood, Pinterest, Bloglovin, Twitter@sheilamgood, Contently, and Instagram. You can follow my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.

Bloopers, Typos and Laughter

August 13, 2013August 11, 2017 / Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / 1 Comment

We’ve all heard the warning, check and double-check spelling, punctuation, and grammar before submitting a piece for publication, but … what can I say, mistakes happen to the best of us.

If you’ve made a mistake recently, relax. Laughing at one’s self is a sign of maturity, or in some cases, getting ahead of the other guy.

"If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you." 
Groucho Marx                                                                         CLICK TO TWEET

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you; Weep, and you weep alone..."
―Ella Wheeler Wilcox                                                      CLICK TO TWEET

So, kick back and have a good, old-fashioned belly laugh. It’s good for your health and good for the soul. As demonstrated by these wonderful church ladies with typewriters.

I can’t take credit for finding these tidbits of laughter. I received them from a dear friend. I tried my to find their origination but was unsuccessful. I did manage to locate them in numerous other places on the net. Angelfire.com, Beliefnet.com, Lotsofjokes.com, to name a few.

These Bloopers and Typos actually appeared in church bulletins or announced during church services.

1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
2. The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
3. The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
4. Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
6. Smile at someone who is hard to love.
7. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
8. Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
11. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.
14. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
15. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment, and gracious hostility.
16. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
17. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
18. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
19. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
20. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
21. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
22. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
23. The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours!

Thanks to my friend Jo and all her friends for forwarding these on. I hoped you enjoyed them as much as I did and took them in the spirit they were intended, a good belly laugh and a gentle reminder – check and recheck. Typos happen to the brightest and the blessed of us. No pun intended.

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Morning Pages: Channeling Martha Stewart

November 22, 2012October 20, 2017 / Sheila McIntrye Good, Author / Leave a comment

I have a love-hate relationship with magazines that promote the “perfect holiday table

Thanksgiving Table With Food (Photo credit: Mr. T in DC)

setting,” you can add Martha Stewart and the other like minded home designers in there, too. Don’ t get me wrong, I love to set a beautiful holiday table. It is one of my favorite things to do but, the family is growing, we’re up to almost 20 people in my family now, and growing. Setting a beautiful table can be expensive!

This Thanksgiving, I had to pull out folding tables, buy more dishes, silverware, glasses and cloth napkins. Because of the added cost, my centerpieces and decorations suffered. I couldn’t do everything.

The holidays are one occasion I get to channel the creativity of Martha Stewart, Betty Homemaker and the lessons of Mrs. Beeckman and share them with my loved ones, especially the little ones who love it and soak it up like sponges.

My family is a wonderful family, simple, easy-going and unpretentious. Truth is, they’re, more at ease eating off paper plates buffet style than they are eating off fine china, but each major holiday I see the enjoyment on their faces as we gather around one of my beautifully set tables. It has become a tradition. They look forward to these occasions. They prefer the cloth napkins, now, and even the youngest recognizes the difference between a salad and dinner fork and knows how to set a proper table.

So, As long as it brings a smile to their faces, I’ll keep adding new dishes and folding tables. They’ll be no paper plates or buffet lines at our holiday celebrations, but I might need to send a note to Martha. “We’re in a recession, how about lowering the prices, or haven’t you heard.”

It’s these types of traditions that make memories and for which I am most grateful. I’d love to hear a bout your family traditions. Leave me a comment. Happy Thanksgiving!