Women on the March — You Do Not Speak for Me

You Do Not Speak for Me

Shannon Stapleton/Reuters

The March

Yesterday, women marched on our nation in “solidarity,” wearing pussy and vagina hats and carrying crude signs. Hollywood elite showed up in force, giving rage-filled speeches, stoking the crowd into a frenzy like throwing fuel on a fire.

Ashley Judd recited a poem written by a teenage girl, “I’m a N-a-s-t-y woman,” she screamed into the crowd.

America Ferrera yelled into the crowd, “We march today for the moral core of the nation, against which our new president is waging a war. Our dignity, our character, our rights have all been under attack, and a platform of hate and division assumed power yesterday.”

What I saw yesterday was the exact opposite of dignity, character, or a show of morals. Crude signs dotted the landscape. “Pussy power,” “Rape culture,” “Pussies in Formation,” “Riot Girl,” “Girl Power,” Weak Men Fear,” “Keep your hands off my body,” “I didn’t come from your rib, you came from my vagina.” I could go on and on, but you get the picture in 3-D and worldwide.

However, the most disheartening visions were the children, both boys and girls dragged into this fray of mass hysteria. One woman said she was marching mainly for her two boys, “I want them to see girls in their classrooms as equals and potential leaders…I want them to know I stood up for women and it’s important for them to stand up for women as well.”

One woman brought her 13-year-old twin daughters, “I Feel Power,” and another girl, not old enough to know what she was marching for, spoke on camera about how men could not tell them what to do. It was a sad moment in our history.

The irony of the message was not lost on me. It was crude, offensive, bigoted, and hateful. It was bra burning on steroids and filled with division affecting all of us. Your theatrical hysterics hurt a nation, yesterday.

All The Roar

The roar of unsubstantiated charges included the threat of women’s rights being under attack. Roe vs. Wade[i] was as going to overturned, health care for women eliminated, rape culture would run rampant, voting rights overturned; and, if you believed the hype, women were going to be returned to the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant. As if, all the progress made by women were going to be swept away in an instance. Give me a break!

Roe vs. Wade was passed into law more than 40 years ago. Since its passage, many attempts to overturn the landmark case have failed, even with additional conservative Supreme Court appointments. In spite of the fact that, “About half of Americans (49%) say that having an abortion is morally wrong,[ii] while 15% think it is morally acceptable and 23% say it is not a moral issue.” Gallup Poll Graph.[iii] For all your hysteria, overturning the law is unlikely to happen.[iv]

Women have come a long way

From where I sit, women have come a long way. Is there room for improvement? Absolutely. To act, however, as if all the progress we’ve made is going to be wiped out because of an election is hysterical, fictitious, and divisive. Let’s look a few facts. Just ask the Pew Research Center.[v]

• “As the 114th Congress gets underway, a record number of women (104) will be serving in the House and Senate. Today women make up 19% of the Congress, about double the share from 20 years ago.”

• “In 2013, over half of managerial and professional occupations in the U.S. (52.2%) were held by women, up from 30.6% in 1968.”

• “As of 2013, about one-in-six board members of Fortune 500 companies (17%) were women, up from 10% in 1995.”

• “Since the 1990s, women have outnumbered men in both college enrollment and college.”

As for the newly elected President, Donald Trump, which you do freely accuse with plans to strip you of your “rights,” are not borne out by facts. He has for decades, employed more women than men in upper echelons of his real estate empire, and in many cases paid them more than men.”[vi]

He has either appointed or selected, to date, six women to either cabinet positions or high positions within his administration. They include Nikki Haley, former SC Governor, the Ambassador to the UN; Elaine Chao, for Transportation Secretary; Seema Verma, as Administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services. Betsy DeVos — Education Secretary; Linda McMahon — Small Business Administration; and, Kellyanne Conway as Counselor to the President.

So much for the President holding women back! Too bad, the facts don’t reflect your rhetoric. From where I sit, women have come a long way. Is there room for improvement? Absolutely, but, to act as if all the progress we’ve made is going to be wiped out because of an election is hysterical, fictitious, and divisive.

Marches have Consequences

Before you start patting yourselves on the back, let’s look at some of the destruction left in the wake of the “Women’s Movement,” most notably on the family unit.

  • According to Pew,[i] there is no longer a dominant family in the United States. Marriage is at an all time low.[ii] In the light of the hate-filled rhetoric toward men, yesterday, I’m guessing that’s not going to be getting better anytime soon.
  • “Fully four-in-ten births occur to women who are single or living with a non-marital partner.”
  • “The share of children living in a two-parent household is at the lowest point in more than half a century: 69% are in this type of family arrangement today, compared with 73% in 2000 and 87% in 1960.”
  • “In roughly three-in-ten of stay-at-home-mom families, either the father is not working, or the mother is single or cohabiting.”
  • In addition, the Center for American Progress[iii] — “42% of mothers were the sole or primary family breadwinner last year. An additional 22.4% were co-breadwinners, meaning that they were responsible for between 25 to 49% of total family earnings.”
  • With today’s, egg and sperm banks — women don’t need a man to have a child. In fact, the birth rate in the U.S. is steadily declining.[iv]
  • In its 2014–2015 annual report, Planned Parenthood states its affiliates around the country did 323,999 abortion procedures in the fiscal year that ended on Sept. 30, 2014, and that those affiliates received $553.7 million in “government health services grants and reimbursements” in the year that ended on June 30, 2015.

Maybe children aren’t on women’s agenda any longer. Congratulations on such “progress.”

Your “Solidarity”

Your “solidarity” weakened women yesterday. The very thing you condemned, you put on display for the entire world to see in all its vulgarity. You espoused “equality” yet, ostracize, condemn, and alienate those who disagree with you.[xi]

I am not less of a woman because I disagree with you. My life has not, now or ever, been hampered by being a woman. I am not a bigoted, racist, xenophobic, or a homophobic woman because I believe in different values or strong borders. As a woman, I consider the safety of my family of paramount importance.

I am not less because I am pro-life. I have seen up close, and personal the consequences of abortion and you did not sway anyone with your argument on abortion or the right “to choose” with your crude signs and verbiage.

I am a strong, well-educated woman. I took pride in my accomplishments and the example I was setting for my daughters. I raised my daughters to be strong and independent and hopefully, instilled in them the need for reasonable, careful consideration. Empowerment and strength comes from within. It cannot be forced or intimidated into reality.

Your march was not the face of democracy. The face of democracy was demonstrated on the 20th of January when our President was elected based on Constitutional principles. If you wanted so badly to have a different outcome, perhaps you should have voted.

You didn’t teach your daughters or sons respect. You normalized crude and degrading language, taught them how to be sore losers and how to throw a tantrum.

You and widened the gulf between men and women and put all men and your sons on notice. You replaced their loving images of mothers and sisters with snarling “pussy” images and rage-filled words about men. They will never look at you or their sisters in the same way, again. The words of contempt will forever ring in their ears. Good job mom!

You marched yesterday, but you did not display dignity, character, or leadership. You showed the world, your sons, daughters, and men, what a woman’s temper tantrum looks like in all its ugliness. For all the horror and outrage you expressed over vulgar words you filled the skies with your own. You did not create ”solidarity” yesterday. You weakened the fabric of decency and society. No, you are not the face of America, and you do not speak for me.


[i]. Roe vs. Wadecaselaw.findlaw.com/us-supremecourt/410/113.html

[ii]. http://www.pewforum.org/2013/08/15/abortion-viewed-in-moral-terms/

[iii]. http://www.gallup.com/poll/191834/americans-attitudes-toward-abortion-unchanged.aspx?g_source=ABORTION&g_medium=topic&g_campaign=tiles

[iv]. https://www.reproductiverights.org/

[v]. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/01/14/women-and-leadership/

[vi]. http://dailycaller.com/2015/08/17/attorney-trump-companies-employ-more-female-execs-than-male-video/

[vii]. http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2015/12/17/1-the-american-family-today/

[viii]. http://www.bgsu.edu/content/dam/BGSU/college-of-arts-and-sciences/NCFMR/documents/FP/FP-13-13.pdf

[ix].https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/education/reports/2016/09/13/143412/the-big-difference-between-women-and-mens-earnings-after-college/

[x].http://http://www.forbes.com/sites/neilhowe/2015/01/28/u-s-birthrate-falls-again/#7dd813e83fdd

[xi]. http://www.usnews.com/opinion/op-ed/articles/2017-01-19/the-womens-march-on-washington-errs-in-excluding-pro-life-feminists

Show, Don’t Tell (unless you’re in Kindergarten).

Another guest-post by K. Alan… sort of. The thing about sudsy water is that it keeps clothes from growing diseases, but causes timber floors to grow them. With apology, I only have time for a reblog.

This is one of the posts from my series exploring some of the most common (and sometimes baffling) advice that writers hear. The other posts in the series are about Writing What You Know, Starting in the Middle of the Action, and Knowing your Target Audience.

Let me know your thoughts!

kalanleitch's avatarWords from K. Alan

Continuing my series, ‘How to Follow Writing Advice that Makes No Sense,’ please comment with your ideas of when it is better for writers to ‘show’ and when to ‘tell.’

showntell Children were never expected to interpret the trauma in a budgie’s past.

Do you remember your favorite part of kindergarten? While I am tempted to name ‘Nap Time,’ memory forces me to acknowledge that naps only became precious to me later in life. No, my favorite part of kindergarten—and probably yours—had to be ‘Show and Tell.’ These were the moments that I could bring in my tricycle, greeting cards or guinea pigs, and allow my classmates to gawk enviously at them while I supplied detailed narrative about their mechanical, emotional or bodily functions. In kindergarten, detail and clarity were rewarded, and Mrs. Arbuthnott would confirm with her warmest smile as she fought to keep from nodding off during the fourteenth minute…

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Causes of Depression: Part 3

(I think I missed posting last Monday. I apologize for that. I was so focused on getting ready for my surgery on Tuesday that I must have simply forgotten. This post was first published on Jan. 11, 2013, and it is the final post specifically about causes of depression.)

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Friday came awfully fast this week!  It was my first week back to work since I took my sabbatical starting just before Thanksgiving.  The days have gone  well, and very quickly.  I’d say I’m about 80% better right now, which is a lot of improvement.  Rest, medication, and straight thinking are all doing their work.

Today I want to mention several things that can trigger or contribute to depression.  Most of this information is already flooding the internet, so I’m not going to write anything you can find elsewhere.  I just want to bring these things to your attention, and if they are applicable to you or someone else in your life, then that’s all for the good.

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Postpartum Depression

Here is a reliable website that will give you lots of good information:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004481/

Some important things to be aware of with postpartum depression:

1.  It can occur immediately after the birth or up to six months or more after the birth.  Some women think it started for them even before the baby had come.

2.  It’s not your fault.  Pregnancy does a complete upset of hormones and chemicals in a woman’s body, including her brain.  Somewhere, I don’t remember where now, I read that during pregnancy a woman’s brain shrinks by about 10% of its normal volume.  It goes back to normal after the birth; when that fails to happen, there is almost certainly going to be postpartum depression. Modern imaging techniques have shown this change clearly.  Maybe it’s the explanation for what women refer to as “pregnant brain.”

3.  There is a difference between postpartum depression and postpartum psychoses.  The latter is far more serious, and can result in bizarre behaviors that can harm the baby, the other children, and the mother herself.  Tragedy such as the Andrea Yeager case is rare, but it does happen.  If the mother had mental health diagnoses prior to pregnancy and childbirth, she and her husband and/or family need to make sure she follows up with appropriate medical treatment.

4.  What about the dangers of psychopharmacologic drugs for a baby who is nursing?  That absolutely needs to be considered.  If the depression is mild, I would suggest that the mother stay in talk therapy and try to develop a safety net of friends and family to give her the time she needs to recover without medication.  This, of course, is the ideal.

Not everyone, however, has the ideal situation.  Sometimes the risk to the baby of the mother taking antidepressants has to be measured against the danger of a deeply depressed new mom hurting her child.  That is something that needs to be discussed with a knowledgeable medical person.

It is vitally important that a new mother get the rest she needs as her body slowly returns to normal.  I can hear all you new moms out there laughing hysterically at that statement, especially if you have other young children.  I’ve been there.  I had four, all about two years apart.  I’m not speaking just from academic knowledge here, but from personal experience.  My mom and mother-in-law both lived long distances away; I had no sisters, aunts, or relatives to help us out. Thank God, we did have a wonderful church family, and precious friends that I could count on.  One of my friends had children about the same age as mine, and we used to trade babysitting 1/2 day each week, just to give each other time away from the demands of a very young family.

There are resources out there.  If you are truly cut off from such sources of help as I’m describing, then speak with your ob/gyn or family doctor and see what kinds of help are available in the community.  Most hospitals sponsor some type of program for new moms, especially single moms.

5. In my opinion, spiritual help is the best help during postpartum depression.  A close relationship with God will give any new mom a safe retreat and a source of encouragement.  Regular Bible-reading is vital.  I give my clients what I call my Scripture Doses.  It  is a collection of my favorite “hope and peace”  passages. I ask them to use the list any way that works best for them, but especially to try to memorize Phil. 4:7, and rely on it to find the peace that passes understanding. 

Postpartum depression does pass.  Things will get better.  The important thing is to know that it’s normal; you are not alone; there is help.

Other Disorders

Depression can be a big part of other disorders, including Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety Disorders, and even learning disorders such as ADD.  All of these disorders can involve mood swings which may lead a practitioner to suspect or even diagnose Bipolar, but mood swings do NOT always mean the person has Bipolar Disorder.  Mood swings are a big part of Attention Deficit Disorder, for example.  Also,  we are learning more clearly all the time that anxiety drives depression, so if someone is by nature a very anxious person who tends to have a lot of worries and fears, there will almost surely be depression at some point until or unless the person can learn to control the anxiety.  Yes, it can be done 🙂  It’s not easy, but it IS do-able.

If there is a question I have left unaddressed in these last three posts, please leave a message either on this blog or on my Facebook page Study God’s Word.  I would be more than happy to address any question you may have that I have not already mentioned. This is a huge topic; I have merely brushed the surface.  Again, there is already a wealth of material online, at your library, and in bookstores.  Just be careful that anything you read is balanced and biblically correct.  There is a lot of misinformation out there, too.

Depression affects the mind, the body, the emotions, and the soul.  It is serious, and nothing to ignore or take lightly.

The Present is Tense: 2 mistakes to avoid when writing in present tense.

Another guest-post by K. Alan Leitch. Please visit my blog for tips that have helped me to write, and for samples of my fiction.

All this present tense in recent fiction really is making me tense. Perhaps it’s just because I’ve been reading since before it was popular—I’ve been accused of that during discussions—but I genuinely feel that more and more authors are writing using present tense for the wrong reasons. Present tense can seem more erudite, more literate and more immediate, but it carries with it a number of pitfalls that erode favorite novels like The Hunger Games without us even noticing. They pull off the improbable feat of a heroine narrating in detail while being chased by poisonous wasps and fireballs, and they give their narrators the super-power of predicting the future.

Mistake Number One: Narrating in first-person & present tense

hg

Is there a Mockingjay helping Katniss make notes?

Tortured Katniss Everdeen, sought-after by receding hunks for her very belligerence, pulls off double-duty by dodging assassins in a hostile forest, all while taking the time to carefully describe every sight, smell, and anguished emotion that occurs to her. When you think about it, this is quite a feat: for an archer whose only targets were rats, prior to her fight-to-the-death in a dystopian arena, her aim remains surprisingly true while she is nattering away every detail of the life and death around her. Of course, as a reader, I could choose to suspend my disbelief and just assume I am reading her thoughts, but the muscle in my brain that suspends disbelief is already too busy believing that twelve districts will be pitted against one another for the entertainment of Utopian overlords. In other words, I want to focus on the highly imaginative elements of this fictional world, not cringe over every faux pas that its narrator commits. And Katniss commits many, such as…

 

katniss_everdeen

It’s hard work memorizing narrative detail while fireballs descend.

Mistake Number Two: Predicting the future

Most good novels make use of techniques that help readers link the plot together. Sometimes, we are helped along through foreshadowing, while at others the narrator directly lets slip some tidbits from the characters’ future. Harper Lee’s masterpiece, To Kill A Mockingbird, brings to mind a mature, adult Jean-Louise Finch sitting at her desk, penning (perhaps using an inkwell) her adventures as innocent little Scout. Every so often, though, she tells us what she knows now, not just what she knew then. Of course, Mockingbird was written in the days when past tense was virtually an author’s only choice; The Hunger Games, to follow a trend, chooses to use present tense, but still lets these tidbits slip. It is as if Katniss has the additional power of predicting her own future; she knows in advance what behaviors the Gamemakers will reward, and how her initial ill-will toward her fellow sook, Peeta, will morph into the bond between them. Collins is not even particularly subtle about this,writing narrative with the word ‘will,’ willy-nilly, throughout the entire trilogy. Katniss knows, a little too often, what ‘will’ happen to her.

rabbit-runOf course, present tense is an effective tool, when used very carefully. One of the first novelists to make regular use of it was the great John Updike; his Rabbit series, by purposefully eliminating all sense of foreshadowing, truly gives readers a sense that they are living a starkly real life alongside the protagonist. Furthermore, occasional use of present tense can stand out, from a novel largely written in past tense, as being either highly emotive to the narrator, or part of a tapestry of a life ‘then’ being narrated ‘now.’

The problem, though, is when authors use it just to make their novels ‘sound better.’ I was pleased to see that I am not along in this opinion, with Philip Pullman expressing the view that, “If every sound you emit is a scream, a scream has no expressive value.”

Perhaps that is why so many present-tense novels make me want to scream; I just need to be heard over them.

More Words from K. Alan

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