Do You Have Your Life Story Plotted Out Like a Movie?

As writers, we often find ourselves sitting in the movie theater breaking down the plot. We whisper to each other about the implausible moments, poor character development, sloppy and incongruent plot, or the surprise ending we didn’t see coming. Occasionally the end leaves us smiling, in awe of the way the plot played out and all the loose ends came together in a tidy bow.  But then there are the times it leaves us with our mouth hanging open and muttering …“What the hell just happened?”

The truth is we all live in a novel or movie of our own making. We all have a story and our lives are filled with endless inciting events, complications, and twists and turns. We rarely know how our story will end, but love, commitment, and values typically keep our story going. Until it doesn’t.

It’s been a long time since I have ventured out of my safe place, the Cow Pasture.  I’ve spent the last year asking, “What the hell just happened?” I am now a statistic. One of the many women thrust into the unknown world of a Grey Divorce The increasing demographic trend of women who have been married a long time, typically 25 -30 years, over the age of 50 who separate and divorce. According to Psychology Today, the rate of those over 50 who are divorcing has doubled in less than 30 years and the implications for women are staggering.

The divorce rate for adults ages 50 and older in remarriages is double the rate of those who have only been married once, Pew says. Among all adults 50 and older who divorced in 2015, 48% had been in their second or higher marriage. (Market Watch/Pew Institute)

This past year has been a difficult, challenging, and enlightening year for me. I am not one to lie down and curl up in a ball, even at the young age of 66.  I have always been the type to dust herself off, pull her big-girl pants up and get on with living.

As difficult as this journey has been, I intend to rediscover who I am, forge my own future, explore new adventures, and in the process share what I have learned about navigating this new life, and the phenomena of Grey Divorce.  I hope to offer tips, what to look out for, how to prepare, and what to do if it happens to you.

Based on the statistics, there are many like me out there and  I’d like to hear your story. If you would like to share your Grey Divorce story with me, contact me at sheilagood52@gmail.com with Grey Divorce in the subject line.

This is not about bashing our exes but about not only surviving but thriving through the trauma of a Grey Divorce. 

I’m making a new life for myself and 2020 is going to be a good year.  I hope you’ll come along for the ride.

 

I’d love to hear your comments. Talk to me. Tell me your story. I’m all ears and look for me on Facebook Page  at SheilaMcIntyreGood, PinterestBloglovinTwitter@sheilamgood, Contently, and Instagram. You can follow my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.

Lessons in Courage

Easter is one of the most beautiful times of the year. Spring is in the air, our hearts are filled with hope, thanks to our Lord and Savior,  and everyone seems to have a lighter step. But, this Easter my heart and my steps were heavier.

After fighting one of the most aggressive forms of breast cancer for an astonishing nine years, my niece lost her battle. I’ve never seen such a fighter.  When life handed her lemons, she served lemonade.

Our hearts were heavy, but as one person after the other shared their stories, our hearts filled with inspiration and hope. Her generosity, tenacity, determination, compassion, humor, and courage left us with the desire to live like Lori.

Lori refused to let her disease define her, rob her of the joy of life, or the pleasure of raising her sons. She didn’t fear death, she feared not living. Lori looked fear in the face stared it down, and kicked!

Lori Caulder Crooke

Bravo Lori. You will forever be an inspiration of strength and courage.

Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run, it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.  Eleanor Roosevelt –

I’d love to hear your comments. Talk to me. Tell me your story. I’m all ears and look for me on Facebook at SheilaMGood,  PinterestBloglovinTwitter@sheilamgood, Contently, and Instagram. You can follow my reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.

 

What “Nashville” Can Teach Us about Writing

Someone told me once I began writing, I’d never be able to sit through a movie or television drama without dissecting the plot. They were right.

A few days ago, I watched the latest episode (9) of one of my favorite shows – Nashville. The plot blew me away and left me in a puddle of tears.

For those Nashville fans who haven’t watched it yet and are reading this – heads-up – spoilers ahead.

This episode was the most seamless example of good script writing, I’ve seen in a while. I could easily pick out, the goal, conflicts, raising tensions, foreshadowing events, and subplots. My own anxiety increased as the scenes unfolded and the subtle bits of foreshadowing lead me slowly toward the inevitable and unexpected ending (disaster).

The episode was one of the most believable and emotional scenes I’ve ever watched on a screen. It was heartbreaking and powerful.

What Can Nashville Teach Us?

To write scenes that pull our audience (readers) in through genuine emotions, realistic problems (conflicts), seamless subplots, and disasters/dilemmas that leave them breathless from chapter to chapter.

A Sneak Peek Inside Episode 9:

Watch with tissue box by your side.

 

What did you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject. Join the conversation. Talk to me or tell me your story. I’m all ears.

Constant Change

This is a guest-post by K. Alan Leitch: another attempt to express what has been troubling me about the friction between creativity and social media. Please visit my blog for tips that have helped me to write, and look for  samples of my fiction from the menu of my projects page.

oceanThe ocean is constantly changing.

It churns millions of gallons between continents every year, and each cupful of water on one beach could well have visited another. Enslaved to tidal forces even greater than itself, movement and change are essential to the ocean; they keep the life underneath it thriving, and sculpt the land between it. A still ocean, one imagines, would surely herald a dying world.

Of course, the ocean isn’t all that changes. Timber wheels evolve into rockets so powerful that they break the force of the very gravity holding that ocean here, so that we can watch a privileged few explore the distant force of those tides. Literature changes, from just a few men being watched playing women on a small wooden stage, to women directing masterpieces that are watched on screens worldwide. And communication changes, too, perhaps most of all; a single letter that was once an act of true devotion is now a daily expectation, to be read and discarded with a swipe.

All the while, the ocean keeps churning, its water travelling the world and pausing only to freeze, for a time, near one pole or the other. Inky around life we have yet to discover, the ocean feels just as playful stippled with tattoos of sunlight at its surface. Millennia past the time that its depth began to vary, the ocean continues to vary it; those depths crush crust beneath it, and the shifts in that crust make it quake.

From some change in pride, though, we no longer allow ourselves to quake. The fears we once held—fears of heights, and of speed, and of demons—have been transferred to entertainment, with roller-coasters and cinemas the only places left we allow ourselves to scream. Where darkness once drove us to cower with our families, it now invites us out into cities to seek some sense of family from strangers. The only fear we have now—the only real fear, that we feel every day—also comes from a change in us.

Where most of us once feared being watched, we now crave it. We crave it so badly that we fear the moment it stops.

So we tweet shrilly when once we pondered, and our walls are now for posting instead of for privacy. We journal, and we blog, then we wait and we waver and we watch, until a message appears that makes us feel like someone might be watching us back. Our philosophy of existence has moved from ‘I think therefore I am,’ to believing that ‘I am’ only when the opinions that ‘I think’ appear on the devices of others. Thought has become the effect rather than the cause.

Still, the ocean keeps changing, too. That cupful of water that travelled and froze—then thawed, so it could travel again—has come all the way back to the beach where it started. The churning waves roam from the same deep blue across the same stripes of green as they shallow, foaming into the familiar bronzed shores that they always have.

Perhaps water doesn’t recognize where it is, where it’s been, or when it’s returned. Perhaps people don’t, either.

But the ocean, at least, is constant.

– More Words from K. Alan

 

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