Behind the Veil

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Photo courtesy of Describli: rings_vows.jpg

The bride strolled down the aisle of the packed chapel alone, smiling from ear-to-ear. Her father sat in the first row, eyes moist with tears, holding the hand of her mother. The groom stood at the front fidgeting as he waited for her to reach him. It was a disquieting scene.

***

Attractive, accomplished and financially stable, Paul and Sam (short for Samantha) looked like the perfect Barbie and Ken couple. To the outside world, marriage seemed the next logical step for them.

But, I knew the truth behind the veil. Her four thousand dollar gown covered the bruises well and the hurtful words he hurled at her, earlier in the week, forgotten in the pomp and circumstance of the day. I cautioned her, even asked her to delay the wedding but with her window for having children getting shorter by the day, she refused.

“It’s difficult to find a good man anymore,” she said, toyed with the napkin under her coffee. “Besides, Paul’s a good catch, good looking, makes an excellent salary, and we have a lot in common.”
I pointed to her arm, “Like the bruises?”
Irritation and sadness crossed her face as she tugged on the sleeve of her sweater. “You don’t understand, he isn’t always like that.”
Sarcasm dripped from my lips. “I can tell.”
She scowled in annoyance. ”He didn’t mean to hurt me. He was just trying to make a point.”
“Looks as if he made it. And, the last time or the time before that?”
“Stop.” The tone of her voice lowered to pleading. “It was an accident. He loves me, tells me every day.”
I placed my hand on top of hers and squeezed. The status diamond, he’d given her, cut into my palm. “Sam, he doesn’t love you. Not the way you should be loved. He talks down to you as if you’re stupid.”
“He does not, “she said pulling on her hand. I held tight.
“Yes, he does. He hurts you, look in the mirror. You deserve better. I’m asking you, please postpone things. If you’re determined, at least go to couples counseling.”
Her face hardened, and she pulled free. “You are my dearest and longest friend, Mel. I respect you, but you’re wrong. You don’t know him like I do. Either you can support me, be happy for me, or don’t bother coming.” She pushed from the table and stood. “I will pretend this conversation never happened. You should too. I want you at my wedding, you’re my best friend, but if you decide not to come, I’ll understand. Either way, I am going to marry Paul.” She turned on her heels and walked out of the coffee shop.

***

I listened as they repeated vows of honor, obedience, and fidelity until death, and cringed. My gut twisted as the pastor pronounced them man and wife. Paul’s long and passionate kiss sent ripples of uncomfortable laughter through the guests, releasing her when the preacher cleared his throat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Mr. & Mrs. Paul Connors.” Applause echoed through the chapel as the new couple made their way up the aisle. Our eyes met, her smile broadened, and she blew me a kiss. Paul’s mouth stretched into a thin line of tension as he searched for the recipient of his wife’s air kiss. I waved not wanting anything to ruin her day. He grinned when he saw me, wrapped his arm tighter around Sam and escorted her through the door.

I couldn’t change her mind, but I would be there for when she needed me. I took a deep breath, plastered a smile on my face and headed for the reception hall. The least I could do was wish them luck.

She was gonna need it.

 

Know the Details of Your Story

As a nurse with a penchant for all medical fiction, I found the guest post by physician and  medical thriller novelist, Richard Mabry, to be another great article on writing with accuracy.

Check it out at CS Larkin’s LiveWriteThrive.com  Infusing Medical Details into Your Fiction

Feature Photo Credit: mantuir3 via Compfight cc

“For a number of weeks, we’re running a series featuring professionals sharing tips and expertise in order to help novelists convey accuracy in their fiction. Last week we took a fun, hard look at forensics and dead bodies. If you are writing any scenes that include doctor, lawyers, investigators, or law enforcement officials, be sure to study these posts (and print them out for reference).”

Check it out and be sure to check out CS Larkin’s writing tips, editing and critique services.

 

Truth is Stranger than Fiction

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Photo courtesy of : google & ninelin.es

It’s an old saying that’s inspired many a story. The problem can come, however, when the plot line or a particular scene is unbelievable to the general audience. On the Premises talks about this very thing in their latest newsletter.

A good example is my own background. I spent the better part of my life in the nursing profession. Medical people have a language of their own and, to this day, I still use many medical abbreviations and terminology. It’s second nature to me, a habit and  the average person, outside of medicine, don’t understand.

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Photo courtesy of: google and pixgood.com

Now, picture the average reader. If I’m going to write a book or story involving medicine, I must be careful to write the story that’s  believable and  understandable to the general audience of readers. Otherwise, they’ll stop reading and or run for a dictionary. Either way, I’ve pulled them put of the story and most likely lost them as a reader.

Do the necessary homework and research when writing, but be cautious. You don’t want the readers eyes to glaze over from info dumps.

Remember the words of Mark Twain.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”― Mark Twain

Thanks to On the Premises for this gentle reminder to keep it real or at least believable when we write. Be sure to check out their website for more writing tips and contests.

What do you think?

Get the Breakdown on Writing a Query

Writing a query can almost  be as hair pulling as writing a novel, not to mention, revisions. As a newbie, I didn’t have a clue, but in 2012,  I was fortunate to win a raffle from The Bookshelf Muse. My prize included a free copy of the book, Keep Calm and Query On, and a free consultation with the author, Luke Reynolds.

Luke was amazing and walked me through the process of writing a query for my work in progress (WIP). After our initial phone consult and numerous emails, I had a finished product; a query for Hello Hell. I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to work with Luke.

We don’t always have those types of opportunities, but this week on Query Tracker Blog, Adriana Mather, wrote an excellent post on queries. Breaking Down the Query, covers the inner workings of writing a query, and the best methods to achieve success.

Thanks Ariana, this one I will be keeping in my important file. If you want to know more or find yourself ready for a query, please check this one out.

Breaking Down the Query (the story of a colorful noob getting results)