A Sunday Confession – I have an Attitude Problem

/ Sheila McIntrye Good, Author

I have an attitude problem. How’s that for a Sunday morning confession?

No, I don’t have the bitchy attitude, although my husband might disagree and I’m not being haughty or arrogant.

Nope, the attitude problem I have, believe it or not, is one of discouragement and lack of faith. Not, the Faith, that’s another subject. Lack of faith in my ability to write.

My muse has left me high and dry, and the 40,000-word novel I’ve struggled with is taunting me each time I open the file. Prompts I used to enjoy doing are drawing a blank. It’s as if the words and thoughts in my brain have gone on vacation without me. An invite would’ve been nice.

I had the entire house to myself yesterday, and writing was on the agenda, but the ghost of my mother appeared. I ended up reorganizing my cabinets and scrubbing the surfaces clean till they sparkled. Yeah, those cabinets just had to be cleaned, three days before my housekeeper is due.

By the time I finished, the day was more than half gone, I was exhausted and had screwed up a knee. Needless to say, I spent the rest of the evening recuperating, bingeing on the Hallmark channel, and getting weepy over stupid stuff.

The truth is I didn’t want to write yesterday. And being a bit obsessive about my house, I welcomed the ghost of my mother. She’s the one I blame for that little personality trait. We learned early on; a clean house is a Southern woman’s obligation and an excuse to get out of anything.

Yep, right now, I have a piss-poor attitude about writing. And, to make matters worse, I’ve committed myself to the A-Z Blogging Challenge in April. Oh no, with my brain on vacation, I’m not feeling any pressure.

April is looming, and I needed to get out of this slump.

Self-help books of all kinds have always been a go-to resource for me. Over the years, I’ve saved encouraging and funny quotes for times just like these. So, this morning I searched out the old file out to get inspired. The first sheet I pulled from the folder had me wondering, but I persevered.
IMG_1314Really?

Then I discovered two of my all time favorites.  A quote about Attitude, by Rev. Charles Swindoll and Faith (author unknown).

You can find the entire quote from Attitude by clicking on the link but here is an excerpt.

“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life…
It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill…
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have,
and that is our attitude.” Charles Swindoll

I encourage you to read the entire quote. It will give you an attitude adjustment. And as far as faith, well at some point we all have to believe.

Faith
When we walk to the edge of the light we have
And take that step into the darkness of the unknown;
We must believe that one of two things will happen  –
There will be something solid for us to stand on
Or,  God will teach us to fly!

I’ve always liked the idea of wings. What about you? Do you ever have doubts? I’d love to hear your comments. Talk to me. Tell me your story and look for me on Facebook at SheilaMGood,  Pinterest,  Bloglovin, Twitter@sheilagood, and Contently.

20 thoughts on “A Sunday Confession – I have an Attitude Problem”

  1. I definitely struggle with this… a lot. Hardly a day goes by where I am not beating myself up for not putting words on page or (worse) beating myself up because the words I did manage to eek out are so horrible (to me) and I can’t believe I call myself a writer.

    Somedays I just feel like Rapunzel in the movie “Tangled”. You know the scene… I’m never going back/I have to go back/this is the best day of my life/I’m such a horrible person… /sigh… I just compared myself to a Disney princess… if you need me I’ll be in the corner yelling at myself about that.

    “I’m a writer. That way, I never have to talk to myself, I just invent a character and start a conversation.” R. Todd

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  2. I get an hour a day (when I’m not blogging) to work the short stories that will comprise my next book. There have been days when I wrote 12 words and edited them 50 times. If things go well, I average 150-200 words of good copy in that hour. It’s painstakingly slow as I tend to have trouble moving on if I’m not satisfied with a sentence or paragraph. But writing is like any other job–showing up is the important thing. Plop your butt in the chair and write. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and pretty soon you get to your destination. It’s always worth it when I wrap up one story and move to the next one.

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  3. I think all of us writers have days when it’s just NOT working for us and, basically, vacuuming the ceiling would be easier than pounding out words. xD SO I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND!! And sometimes taking a step back and taking the time off is okay?! And sometimes you just have to beat through it. *nods* I think it’s important to keep going, buuuut, to know when to cut yourself some slack. 😉

    Thanks for stopping by @ Paper Fury!

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    • Cait, you’re right. It’s the giving ourselves “some slack” and not feeling the weight of guilt that’s the problem for me. Getting better at it though. Oh, and your “vacuuming the ceiling” has left an indelible image in my mind. Love it. Thanks for the encouragement and stopping by the Cow Pasture.

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  4. I can find all kinds of things to fill a day, on the days I just can’t sit and write. It seems like one thing needs to be cleaned, then you notice something else that needs to be tidied and all of a sudden a whole day has gone by and nothing that you set out to do has been accomplished. I too am stalled on a book, and I just can’t seem to blast through that wall…yet.

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  7. Boy, I definitely CAN relate to your feelings about writing. Although, there MAY be a glimmer of hope, but cross your fingers. My husband has been seriously ill since Christmas. I feel like I have fallen in a deep, dark, hole and my brain is DEAD!!

    But after whining enough I realized that I might have just what I need for April’s A to Z Challenge. I can relate to finding excuses for not writing. You are NOT alone!! Did you join the Insecure Writers Support Group? Try it, you might like it. I joined it last month.

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    • Gwyn, So sorry to hear of your husband’s illness. I understand the impact of health on time and family. My husband is also fighting a rare autoimmune disease (doing better) and my health has been touch and go for the last three years. It’s okay to whine on occasion- we all have to. I can really relate to that dark, black hole.LOL I am not familiar with the group, but think I’ll pass for now. It’s all I can do to keep up with other things, but thank you for asking. And, thanks for stopping by, reading, and leaving such a wonderful and encouraging comment. The best to you and may your husband’s health improve soon. Good luck with the A-Z, too!

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  9. Hi Sheila, I agree, it’s easy to put ourselves under pressure. But the A-Z Blogging Challenge is still several weeks away – enough to schedule at least some posts in advance, to ease the pressure in April? I don’t know if you’re planning on having a theme this year, but if not, that might make it a little easier, as you can blog about whatever tickles you at the time. I did decide to go with a theme and I must admit it feels a little more pressured in comparison to last year. Good luck anyway.

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    • I decided against a theme, although I toyed with the idea. I have done a good bit of planning and have at least an idea for each day. I think it is more about the conflict of life and writing. Sometimes finding the balance is a true juggling act. Thanks so much for your kind comments and taking the time to comment.

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  10. I’ve experienced the some of the same things that you’re going through. What can I say? I’ve learned to read a book or to go to a cafe with my iPad and sit and write what I observe. That helps me, but most important I’ve learned to back away from the manuscript I’m writing and start working on something else that I desire to write. When I do that, I suddenly find myself back in touch with my characters from my first manuscript. I don’t know how it happens, and I can’t explain it, but it happens. As I sit here writing my comment, I can say that I equate it to a rope with three threads. There’s a Bible verse in the book of Ecclesiastes 4:12 that talks about a triple braided cord. I compare my writing to that verse. I am working on more than just my first manuscript; I have my blogs and short stories, and I have a second manuscript that I am outlining and working on.” A cord of three braids is not easily broken.” For me, it means when the words no longer flow for my manuscript, it is time to write on something else. I have found that some of my best blog articles or short stories come out when I am not working on my manuscript and that they incinerate the flames for me to finish working on my first manuscript. Mind you, it takes longer, but I have the patience to wait it out.
    All the best.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

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    • Patricia, thank you so much for such and encouraging and thoughtful response. Your words were, indeed, inspirational. I particularly love the idea of the “cords of three braids.” Thanks for taking the time to read and send me a breath of encouragement.

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